After some thinking...maybe my Blog title should be "Leaping by Faith" because thats how I feel about my life as of late. I really am content knowing that MBC is where the Lord has me for this season, but I still am struggling as the day-to-day and "real life" sets in. There are days, too, where I cannot believe how blessed I am to be here, gain such incredible experience, know that the Lord is using me to influence young lives, and teach me more about Himself. But it sure was a leap to move myself across the country, where I don't know anyone to serve Him & the Church. Sometimes I wish I had gone farther away to college so that would have been a step away from leaving home, but I went to Moody...only one hour away from home.
But today was one of those not so great days. I know I am tired & on the edge of being burnt out from the summer & all of our travels, camps, and time put in at work. Thankfully Friday is a day off & I got to sleep in. But, on my days off I don't like to not have anything to do. I'm a people person and like to be around them! And I like to be doing something! SO, when I wake up around 10am thinking, "I have 12 more hours to fill" but nothing comes to mind, I get a little discouraged. Because if I were at home I could call Granny & we could go get a treat at Grahams 318 or Froots. I could go grocery shopping & cook with my mom. I could walk down to Carries house & we could sit by the pool & talk for hours. I could go to the Clausens and eat chips & salsa or brownies in the kitchen & talk with the whole fam for hours on end. I could call Julia, Peggy, Shena, or Justine & we would meet at Panera or Caribou to chat & catch up. But I'm 1436 miles away from home. I don't have friends I can just call up and meet up with or go over to their houses uninvited.
I also am mourning the end of my college life & its hitting me a little harder than I thought. Hearing that the new RAs are back from retreat, the Freshmen are on the floor, and everyone returns to campus tomorrow makes me sad that I'm not there to welcome 6West or the 9Northers back to school. I know a lot of my friends have moved on from Chicago & Moody, but some of my favorite memories are on that campus and around town.
So it is another stretching time that the Lord is teaching me to choose to have joy in Him, despite my circumstances. I'm clinging to the promise of Isaiah 40. "Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength" When I am tired and weary & want to give up and go home, I will wait for the Lord to raise me up.
Please pray for me. THANKS!
I will pray for you today, Rachel! Drew and I still mourn leaving the 'funness' of Moody. :) We loved our time there and everytime we visit it is not nearly the same because no one we really know is still there! We are still trying to make new friends now where we are and it gets hard at times for sure. You have a wonderful personality and I am sure that people feel comforted by you where you are right now. I imagine there are a thousand girls in that church that would love to get to spend an entire week with you. You have the love of Christ and I pray that that is what fills you up when you get homesick. (but it's ok to be homesick, too, trust me everytime I left home I was the same way.) IT sounds like you are learning alot and that is so neat! praying for you sister! much love, ashley belden
ReplyDeletei remember similar feelings first year out of moody... i actually called my mom in tears, asking, "is it all downhill from here???" haha.
ReplyDeletebut take heart, rachel! every chapter is different, but there will be a day (probably sooner than you think) that you will be able to look back with all the same fondness on your days at moody and still say, "i wouldn't go back." God's plan for you is GOOD!
thanks for sharing your heart!